Breaking Free from the Beauty Standards

We live inside a box. A box that’s been filled with one long list of how a socially accepted human must be. Beauty standards are no exception. We have set standards that has been idealised. I do realise that this is a topic that is now gaining popularity and also is being thought about.

Many of these posts broadly classified women into three categories. The first were those who believed that all women including themselves were beautiful. The second describing women who are filled with insecurities upon themselves, based on how she looks. The last were women who found themselves beautiful according to the beauty standards we all are asked to follow.

Thinking about all these and then looking at how I saw myself, I realised that I fit into none of these categories. Growing up, I have been preached to see the beauty in differences. My family celebrated differences and I was taught to see the beauty in everyone. I also remember equally appreciating how everyone around me looked. But thinking back, I noticed that I had held a lot of insecurities upon my appearance. Unlike how I accepted others, I did not accept my own physical self. I wasn’t brooding about it. Neither do I remember me being happy about myself.

I don’t remember dressing up or taking efforts to look better in any way.  Considering this aspect of my life, I just existed. It was not until my second year of college when I realised I had to act up and do something about this. Ever since, I’ve been doing weird stuff to get my brain to see the beauty in me. Being an undergrad student at psychology helped and I used little tricks to get into my subconscious and I fed it with positive ideas. Right from Sticky notes to wake up to and the songs I heard, I made sure I had enough source to help myself improve at this. Over a one year period, I had transformed enough to see the beauty in me too.

Just when I thought I was good enough to go, I noticed that I was extremely camera shy and also I knew this had something to do with the traces of insecurities I had once held. I was out of college and I was looking for some way to deal with this. I will have to say that it was perfect timing when my cousin (Who is a Designer) put up a post looking for women who can volunteer to join in for a fun photo shoot. It was a professional photo shoot session to advertise her new clothing line. Yes, you got it! I wanted to challenge myself and I did join in.

Until I drove myself to the venue, I did not even believe I had actually signed up for something I had been dreading all through my life. At this point, I did not even know if I’d be able to manage to look straight into the camera. After a two day shoot, I had posed enough to get over all of what I was fearing.  For a person who doesn’t even join in for selfies, this was a huge step. I think this was my final step into feeling amazing about how I looked. From all my heart, I now cherish my physical self.

I have had much bigger “real life actual” concerns and fights that I have conquered. This might not seem that big of a deal to many. But this blog is aimed at those little girls thinking if they will ever like how they see themselves.

 I am a living example girls! You don’t need to look like what is described to be beautiful. Remember to take efforts to change how you see yourself. It’s all within that grey matter of ours. It’s okay if you want to change the body that you came in, sometimes. But remember to love the amazing self that you are. It’s only you that will need to see how beautiful you are. Feed yourself with positivity. You are amazing.


Here are a few pictures from the photoshoot!

Go ahead Ladies.. Let’s redefine what we call beauty.

59 Replies to “Breaking Free from the Beauty Standards”

  1. 👏👏👌👌👌👌I seriously feel that all the women who finds herself pretty, not pretty or trying to find themselves pretty must read and understand this. Finding beauty in every single thing is the true elegance. No one is superior or inferior as we all are unique .Our character inside and the way we love everyone especially ourselves defines us ❤ Good writing akka👏 😊

  2. Hi Kanmani! I appreciate how you have broken free in more than one ways: beauty standards and blog writing! Be bold and keep bold girl! Good work! Bon courage!

  3. The way you have looked at the pictures (and written about them) is as good as you look in those pictures. Awesome!!!!

  4. No one can be better at being themselves than the individual themself… Focusing on changing ourselves for the better is changing the world one perspective at a time. Let’s redefine ourselves <3 you go girl!

  5. Wow what a great blog. Keep rocking Kanmani!!
    You have well defined what is beauty. Beauty begins the moment you decide to be yourself. What makes you different (or unique) from others, makes you beautiful. Beauty is all about having pretty mind, pretty heart and pretty soul like you!!!

  6. Thanks for writing this brilliant article. Truely inspiring. Love to see more articles flowing.

    PS. I become secret admirer of yours after reading this article.

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